Date Your Spouse

This week at Ideal Balance we’re talking about how important it is to date your spouse.

Before you get married you go out on dates, you have fun, you learn all about each other and make memories! It’s fun, hot & heavy, intimate, butterflies and more.

Then, shortly after the wedding bells ring, the business of life can start to creep in. The business of life includes the less fun stuff like bills, jobs, in-laws, carpools and so forth.

If you’re not careful, the business of life can take over. The fun starts to fade and it’s all business.

BUT! You guys were a thing before your marriage was a thing. You guys were a thing before your kids were a thing. You guys were a thing before your house payment was a thing! You were so fun, so cool, so cute together. You guys were a couple of awesome people.

So, we want to date our spouses on purpose. We want to pull that fun & fire back in by intentionally dating each other!

Imagine if everyone was part of a great, strong, fun & playful marriage. How would folks show up in life? What would be different about their moods, their work, their parenting, their everything? What would our communities be like?

Think about a time you’ve gone out, with your spouse, and friends for dinner or to an event. You’re there, you’re talking about music and telling jokes and having fun. How often, just as soon as you get back in the car is it right back to, “Okay who is picking up from sports tomorrow?” or “How are we going to pay to fix the water heater?”

That is the business of life. We don’t keep the fun and exciting part of ourselves alive for our partners. It’s so easy to slip into business partner mode. So, we have to be intentional and date our spouses.

When we’re at home, we’re parenting, choreing, do, do, doing! When we set the time and space, purposefully, then we are able to give the date our full, fun, present energy. We can physically and mentally separate ourselves from the roles we play at home and see each other in that lover’s light.

The DOs & DON’Ts of dating your spouse

  • Have fun
    • Couples who play together stay together. If you’re having fun together, you’re building on that intial bond only the two of your share. As adults, it’s sometimes hard for us to be playful and have fun as a natural part of our day. But you can plan for it! Choose things besides just going to dinner: bowling, mini golf, canoeing, axe throwing, traveling. It can be whatever you guys decide, but make sure FUN is an element.
  • Make memories
    • You have a lot of first together. Let’s keep it that way. We need more memories together, more things that glue us together and give us fun things to laugh and remember.
  • Prioritize it
    • You need to put dating your spouse HIGH up on your budget & calendar priority list. That’s because your marriage is really important, isn’t it? It’s at least as important as dance lessons. Strong, happy marriages equal overall contentment, joy and fulfillment. They also give kiddos a great example to follow. Your marriage is a HIGH value item and dating each other is a way you prove you’re prioritizing your marriage.
  • Dream talk
    • When you first got together, you dreamt together. You dreamed about your future. So, have these discussions together. What does our vision for the future look like? Has it changed? Is it the same? Are we excited? Are we dreaming big?
  • Eat yummy food
    • Food can be very sensual, so let’s be sure whatever way we add that in to the date is fun and sensual! But! Be careful that whatever you do eat won’t hinder post-date activities. Be smart about food. You’re not going to all of this trouble just to be full and grumpy by the time you get home!
  • No distractions
    • Obviously no phones, no kids, no nothing. You need to be able to fully focus on one another.
  • No business talk
    • You can set time aside for kids’ discipline, bills, appointments, honey-do lists another time. NONE of that during your date night.

So there you have it, the why and how of dating your spouse.

Our local Ideal Balance community has the perfect opportunity to date their spouse each month with our Dream Date Night event. This relaxing evening away from home without interruptions allows you to be 100% focused on each other and the life you want to create together. Each month we’ll have a different topic including marriage goals, financial goals, family goals and more.
Add to that the beautiful patio setting with music, lights and beautiful, unique food and you’ve got a recipe for a FANTASTIC date night.
This month we’re so excited to focus on the topic of Finance. Not the stressful, budget kind of focus but the fun, dreaming about your future, your dreams and your financial goals as a couple type of Finance. We’ll learn & dream together and we promise-no math in public. This event will an amazing investment in your marriage!

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